Confessions of a Shoe-A-Holic

2011-06-08T16:40:00.000-07:00

I found this Etsy shop and I love their headpieces/hairpieces, whatever you want to call them!

They are so cute, and super affordable. They would be perfect for a fun, summer wedding, or just any time you feel like it.

I am a huge fan of feathers and flowers and wearing things in my hair, so I will definitely be ordering one of these soon!

The royal wedding definitely inspired me to look up and find pretty fascinators to wear, and this shop on Etsy fits the bill!

Go take a look at this shop and I hope it inspires you!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/heartck

Currently Obsessing

2011-01-09T22:37:00.000-08:00

Saw Black Swan over the weekend. Crazy good. Literally. Crazy and good. Natalie Portman can play insane quite well. Anyways, watching the movie just reinforced my love for two things: ballet and feathers. Everyone who knows me, figured I would love the movie on those two features alone!

I have loved ballet since I was a little girl and was dragged along to every class and recital of my sister's ballet days. It's so funny, I loved it and wanted to be a ballerina so badly. She ended up not loving it and left. She had the amazing technique, me - eh, not so much, but I had the stage presence she lacked. If you had combined us, we would have made an amazing dancer. Only if you minus the fact that we are not built to be ballerinas! I am guessing my early love of ballet, and especially toe shoes, are what led to my love of shoes in general. I think I love heels so much because I love the fantasy, much like toe shoes. They both suspend you off the ground for a little while, allowing me to keep my head in the clouds just a little bit longer.

Please excuse me for being a bad blogger and just using the first images I found on Google. Love them though!

Photo Credit: NYMag.com

Feathers at Marchesa, Monique Lhuillier, and Derek Lam.

DYING

2010-10-05T20:33:00.000-07:00

Shopping for impossible to find 3" (for a pair of work pants, I'd prefer taller!) round toe brown leather pumps and these are a few pairs I came across that I am DYING over. Wish I could buy these like NOW!

From Piperlime.com

From Nordstrom.com

From Piperlime.com

From Nordstrom.com

If anyone knows where to get a good deal on those brown shoes I mentioned earlier, please let me know!

Hopeless Romantic

2010-09-18T17:53:00.000-07:00

I was watching The Sound of Music and forgot how much I love the movie, not to mention the fashion from the 1930's and 1940's. I am such a hopeless romantic, I want to sing and dance in the rain, in a courtyard under moonlight, and at a ball wearing a ball gown. Even though I did not live during this time period, I miss the glamour and sophistication of this era. Men and women dressed for every occasion, where did this formality go and why does it not exist anymore? Watching movies like this tempt me to be an actress because I want to create magic, like the feelings that sweep over me when I watch The Sound of Music or basically any musical.

Here are just some pictures that I loved and wish that I could wear right now!

I die for a great, dramatic hat and ensemble!
Found at revampvintage.com

Can't talk about the '30s without the great Coco Chanel, found at pastreunited.com

Wish I could find a better picture, but the Baroness' clothes in The Sound of Music are to die for!

One day, I will have the chance to dress up and attend a ball and dance under the moonlight. At least a girl can dream right?

Whoa

2010-07-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

Can't believe I haven't blogged since March 24th. I miss the blog but I haven't felt that anything in my life is worth blogging right now. I have been doing a lot of complaining and I feel that everyone around me has had enough of that. So, until I can figure out something positive to blog about, the silence will continue.

I just have to say sorry to everyone who has had to listen to me being whiny and annoying the past few months. I promise I am working on changing that! Love you all for sticking with me and still listening to me complain. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know!!

Hello Friend!

2010-03-24T22:40:00.000-07:00

I have been having a really good week. I feel like talking about it is going to jinx it, but I just want to celebrate some happiness, so I'm throwing caution to the wind! Finally found a new place to live (woo!), the job is going good, and my friends are awesome. I really am lucky to have some of the best friends a girl could ever want. My friends don't judge me, they tell me the truth, pick me up when I am down, and keep me going through the storm. They are always there to talk to, to laugh with, to shop with, to cry with. Sometimes I stop to think about what my life would be without these people and then I shake my head because it just wouldn't be possible, I wouldn't have made it this far without them.

I recently had a toxic group of "friends" that I had known for many years. I thought that we were all close and that one of these girls was my "best friend". Do not pass go, do not collect your lifetime friendship card on that one! Found out that this person made fun of me and talked about me and my problems behind my back, and about everyone else in the group as well. Really person? After everything I went through, you thought you had the right to judge me because we were "best friends"? Well, me being the super mature woman that I am, I got a few jabs in and then just stopped talking to this group of people. At that point in my life, I had so much going on, I just didn't have the energy to confront and yell and get angry at that person. They obviously didn't care that much about me, so I stopped caring about them. Honestly, my life has been so much better without them that I wish I had done it sooner! I can be myself around my friends now and not have to pretend to be someone or something I'm not. I can like what I want and not be ridiculed for it. Sure, my friends may laugh at me for what I like, but they never make me feel bad for it.

True friends will definitely keep it 100 with you at all times but never make you feel like less of a person. I just wanted to write this quick post as a HUGE thank you to my friends. I know I couldn't make it through this life without you. Thank you for making me who I am today. Oh and I hope you like me, because you are stuck with me now!

You Know You're Excited..

2010-03-22T21:41:00.000-07:00

1. Today I am wearing sweats and my Cowboys t-shirt (the best bar in the entire world!).

2. My favorite childhood food was peanut butter and my favorite food now is pretty much anything, sushi and mexican top the list though!

3. A day that I am too busy to __eat __is a day that I am too busy.

4. The last movie I saw was "Snow White" and the next movie I want to see is something in the theater because I haven't had movie theater popcorn in far too long!

5. My favorite smell is anything citrusy because, it smells fresh and clean .

6. A weird little quirk I have is don't touch my neck, oh and my bathroom repulsions (aren't you just dying to know more about me?).

7. When I take personality quizzes they always say I'm boring. haha no, I don't know! what would you guys say?

I really don't have anything to write about just yet. No amazing inspirations or muses have come into my life lately. It's just been life. Still waiting to win the lotto. Still working and wishing and hoping for all of my dreams to come true.

Really wishin' I had this to come home to:

{courtesy of Blissliving Home}

Doesn't it look so inviting and refreshing and scream "SLEEP IN ME!" ?

Day 1

2010-03-09T21:19:00.000-08:00

Starting tomorrow = no carbs. I started this last week and completely fell off the wagon and landed about a mile from the road. It was bad. But I am going to do it, I have to. Oh carbs, how I will miss you. I'll be back, don't worry about that. Just not for a while.

All I gotta say is that I better look damn good after this for all this torture!

Seems Like a Lifetime...

2010-03-08T21:50:00.000-08:00

...and yet it seems like it was just yesterday. Four years ago today, I lost my dad. My whole world shattered. It was and probably will always be the worst day of my life. I miss him like crazy. Every girl needs her daddy.

My dad and I were really close, I felt like I could talk to him about anything and we did almost everything together. We made trips to the hardware store, holding hands as we walked through the parking lot and the trip always ended up with us sharing a Hershey's bar with almonds. Or the times we would go to lunch at some hole in the wall with amazing food because my dad ate like it was his job. Or when we drove around in the car singing along to the soundtrack for Fiddler on the Roof at the top of our lungs. Or when I would break the lawn mower and we would have to try and figure out how to fix it and make it last just a little bit longer. Or the time I wanted a playhouse and halfway through we ran out of wood, so I had half of a floor and half of a roof and of course they were on opposite sides, but I had a door! One of my fave memories is when he would drive down this old country road in his little white toyota truck after it rained and he would let me get in the bed of the truck and he would hit every puddle possible. I would laugh like crazy and he would try to hit the puddles harder so I would get even wetter and I would laugh harder.

My dad taught me how to be strong and brave and to fight for everything. He (and my mom) taught me that if you want something you have to work hard for it and that no matter what you did, an honest day of work anywhere was something to be proud of. My dad fought til the very end and I could not be more proud than to call him my dad. I still regret that last night, not waking him up to give him one more hug, kiss, and an I love you. I would give anything for just one more hug or conversation with him. There is so much that he was supposed to teach me and so many stories that I didn't hear enough.

The best piece of advice my dad gave me was that there are 3 types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch what happen, and those that wonder what happened. This always motivates me to just get out there and try something, you never know what will happen if you just try.

I love you daddy and I miss you. I still wish you were here and I hope you are proud of me. And don't forget, you can't haunt me, it isn't funny!

This was created by my dad, along with Grant Burgers. It's at the San Diego Fair, LA county fair and Orange County fair. I've worked there twice and I loved it. So proud of my daddy!

A Fashionable Home

2010-03-07T17:52:00.000-08:00

I am in the market for looking for a new place to live. It's got me thinking of decorations - even though I rarely actually do it! I feel like each rental is so temporary and I never know where I will be in a few months that it just doesn't seem worth it to decorate and then have to fix everything back. But it still doesn't stop me from thinking about my dream house and that interior!

I found Cox & Cox through Brunch at Saks and instantly fell in love with some items!

Here are a few of my faves:

How awesome is this? This would look so cute with multiples for jackets in an entry way. Or in the bedroom as a way to hang accessories in a fabulous walk-in closet.

I love this for decorating the table. set small tea light candles or even fill with mini roses. Precious!

I think this is so pretty! I love that it is so simple and yet really stands out. And the best part is that you can still personalize it with your own trinkets that you don't know where else to put!

I love wall decorations and I think this candle sconce is beautiful! It looks vintage but modern all at the same time and would be absolutely gorg all lit up!

I think that this wall clock is adorable! How cute would this be with pictures of family {or puppies!}? This would be so cute in the kitchen because isn't that where the majority of families spend their time anyways?

Who can't use more love in their life? This would be perfect for hosting dinner parties with loved ones! Use to put dip in or even just as simple decoration.

I can't wait to have a fabulous backyard to host a lot of BBQs. We always had BBQs when I was growing up and it was always so much fun! This would be super cute hung above everyone's heads to light up the summer night.

I DIE for this! I want this cookie cutter so bad! I want to make myself crown cookies and crown pancakes and crown everything! Haha I think I might just have to order this!

How cute are these little heart molds? I would use this all the time if I had that gourmet kitchen I dream about! This is good for chocolate hearts for Valentine's Day or just any time you want someone to feel a little extra love!

I can't wait to one day buy a house, especially when it comes time to buy my dream house! I think that as long as you have a happy family and a happy heart, your home will be a happy one, but it doesn't hurt for it to look good at the same time! I also plan to decorate the walls with my fabulous shoe collection, so maybe that's just me?

Hope you all had a fun weekend!

{P.S. sorry the pictures are spaced funky. I have been having so much trouble lately formatting my posts with pictures. If anyone can help me figure out why it's being so weird, I would love to fix it!}

Getting to Know Me: Round 3

2010-03-06T19:00:00.000-08:00

"You got to dig a little deeper

Find out who you are

You got to dig a little deeper

It really ain't that far"

{The Princess and the Frog}

1. One thing I MUST do before I die is go travel around the world. oh and have kids.

2. I would rather have a few wonderfully amazing friends than have 100 not so nice friends any day. {yep learned my lesson on that the hard way.}

3. If I could give my younger self one piece of advice it would be to take more risks and never give up and don't let the world get you down.

4. If I won the lottery tomorrow I'd pay off debt, pay for school, buy my mom and sis houses and then go on a family vacay!

5. The best surprise ever was when he proposed.

6. My biggest fault is that I take everything personally and can't let it go. I am a perfectionist and I let it ruin a lot of things because I can't let go. It makes me overly emotional.

7. My biggest strength is that I can make it through anything. I already have.

I Want and I Need..

2010-03-03T21:45:00.001-08:00

When it comes to clothes, isn't a want and a need kind of the same thing? We all need clothes, and we all want them to be fashionable right? Well I DO! I'm over jeans and a t-shirt blah wardrobe!

Here are a few things I NEED!

{courtesy of Nordstrom!}

And this..

{Nordy's again!}

And these...

{Nordy's yet again!}

Oh Boy! I can't wait to get my shop on! Hopefully I can find a couple of good pieces!

My Days Are Off

2010-03-02T19:34:00.000-08:00

I don't know why I can't seem to blog on the reg, but I am slowly starting to get used to my new work sched so hopefully I'll get back on the ball. I have a lot going on this week {hello payday and much needed grocery and work clothes shopping!} and also a lot personally, emotionally, and crazily as well.

So instead of calling this fill in the blank Fridays like it is supposed to be, I'm just going to call it getting to know me better days. Is that okay with everyone? Good!

1. When I'm nervous I crack my knuckles, chew my lip, or play with my page edges.

2. My favorite item in my closet is probably my shoes! duh.

3. Reading or taking a tub is my favorite thing to do when I need to relax.

4. My favorite childhood memory is doing just about anything with my daddy. I would give anything and everything to have just one of those days back, I miss you daddy.

5. Something you may not know about me is to not touch my neck. Just don't, I will hurt you. I like to educate everyone on this fact.

6. A true friend won't tell you if you are being crazy or emotional, they just let you rant until you feel better and then give you wine.

7. Something I hope people think of when they think of me is funny (me too Tasha!) and also smart. I don't know why but that's really important to me.

Random side note: I need help from everyone! I need some fashion/clothing inspiration before my shopping trip Saturday and just for in general. I want to really update my look, please send me your fave outfits or inspirations! I also want to change my hair, does anyone have good tips? Thanks!!!!

Fill in The Blank {Fridays}

2010-02-21T17:26:00.000-08:00

Fill in the Blank Fridays....yeah, I know, I'm a couple days behind..

Thanks Natasha and Lindsay!

1. If I could medal in an olympic event it would be figure skating - I would love to design my own outfits!!! haha

2. If I was stranded on a deserted island I'd take nothing because I wouldn't go to an island with nothing on it. I'll just take Hawaii or the South of France.

3. People touching my neck is/are my most irrational fear. Yeah, don't do it, I am not nice about it. You would probably end up hurt.

4. I'd rather shop all day everyday, than work everyday.

5. I am excited about getting my first paycheck from my new job!

6. I should really be picking out my outfit for tomorrow but it's just depressing staring at how pitiful my closet is.

7. One of my favorite things in all the world is shoes. and shopping. and shoe shopping. Oh and chocolate.

R.I.P. Alexander McQueen

2010-02-11T16:00:00.001-08:00

Today, the fashion industry lost a genius. Such a sad ending to a wonderful story.

~Just a few of my faves from Alexander McQueen~

He will definitely be missed.

The Blah Blah Blues

2010-02-02T13:29:00.000-08:00

Depression. I feel like this topic is one that people don't like to talk about, and it's almost a little taboo. I understand why you wouldn't want to talk about it. I don't like it. I hate spilling my guts about how I feel, because I absolutely do not want to come off as weak, pathetic, or unable to handle life. Because trust me, I've been through it all and I survived. But at the same time, there is always this black cloud that follows me around, and if I'm not careful. Bam.

I can just feel the crushing paralization of depression settling over me. There is just an overwhelming sense of sadness and I can't get out of my own head. The times when it gets really bad are the times when I can't get out of bed or off the couch and I can barely hold a conversation with another person. My mind can't focus or understand what is going on. The world takes on a shade of gray and I can sit and stare for hours at nothing. My whole body aches and I don't even have the energy to do anything at all. I don't feel good, actually, I barely even feel anything but that crushing weight.

When things go wrong, it's really hard for me to not go all Polly Pessimist but I try my best to stay upbeat. It's usually easier when I'm around people I don't know that well or don't want to show my feelings to, I've gotten pretty good at putting up that fake front that life is wonderful. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing? A friend of mine says the only emotion I am good at showing is anger. With the rest, you never know what I'm feeling. I've been doing it for so long, trying to control my emotions because I don't want to come across as weak. I hate to cry in front of people, even though I'm horrible at trying to stop the tears. I don't want to ever seem too happy because then I feel like something awful is going to come along and upset the apple cart.

All of this started when I was pretty young, and I've gotten used to dealing with a crazy storm of emotions and thoughts always running through my brain. I don't think it's "normal" but it's normal for me. In a way, it's been good for me, because I have gotten really good at focusing and concentrating on things because that way I can tune my brain out and not have to listen. The worst is at night, laying in bed and not having something else to focus on and listening to my brain go on hyper drive.

The past 7 years, I have always felt super stressed and that leads to my depression for sure. Especially lately, going through the worst financial time of my life and so many things changing, my eye-twitch is on over drive. My shoulders are always tense and it makes my chronic headaches even worse. {I'm not trying to complain, this is just me. Just want everyone to understand what I feel.}

The past couple of years, I have started having panic/anxiety attacks and those really bother me because I can't do anything once they start. They just have to run their course and those can leave me really shaken up and in a bad mood for a day or two.

I don't know if anyone else goes through this. I don't even know if anyone will actually read this. I highly doubt this will help anyone with anything. I just want to put it out there. I need to find more productive ways to get rid of the negative energy, I haven't been so good in the last few years as getting it out in a healthy way. At least here I can vent and whine and complain, and if no one wants to hear it, they don't have to read it, but I feel much better. For me personally, the best way to relieve stress is to beat the living daylights out of a punching bag, but that's not always an option. Running has been a good way to get out excess energy, but sometimes it's just a little too much quiet. I need someone to torture me in a workout so I can't think and all I feel is the pain of hard work.

I hope that this helps the people in my life to understand me a little bit better. When I'm in a bad mood, I try to not take it out on people but sometimes I fail. Big time. I withdraw into myself a lot because I am not good at talking about my feelings and what's going through my brain. Sometimes, it's hard for me because it all just becomes so overwhelming I tend to shut down a little bit. I like to think that I am super strong and can do anything and not need help from anyone. I am the one that takes care of everyone else. Lately, that has been the farthest thing from the truth as everyone has been really helping me and taking care of me. I couldn't appreciate it more, but I also can't wait for the day to come when I am more independent. I feel like a loser being like this.

This is a subject that I definitely want to hear from everyone on. If you don't want to share personal things, I completely understand, but I do want to hear from you in some way. I think that the more I talk to people, the better it helps me to feel about this. And I hope it helps you to talk to me.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

2010-01-18T19:54:00.000-08:00

{The next few blogs are pretty personal and I had to really decide if I wanted to post this for everyone to read. It took longer than I thought, but I'm ready.}

It's funny how people start asking you at a young age what you want to be when you grow up. I know it's usually because it's cute to hear the answers that children come up with, but do they really think you're already supposed to know? Your life experience is basically zero at that age!

I went from wanting to be a heart surgeon to wanting to be an architect. After that I moved on to wedding planner. Then, I went back to wanting to be an architect (which through some unfortunate circumstances, I had to let that dream slide for the time being). Right now, I really want to pursue fashion and being a personal stylist. My tastes are all over the place, but the common thread is visual, I love pretty things!

The world assumes this is how it works: you know what you want to do, you go to school and then you do it. But what if you're like me? I have a plan, I've always had a plan. I've been crafting my ten year plan since I was in 9th grade. But then God or fate or both do their best to knock me down, kick me around and then point and laugh. Everyone says that if you want it bad enough, you'll make it happen. Nobody ever talks about those people that can't make it happen, no matter what they do. I thought being a college graduate meant that I had life figured out by now and that I knew how to succeed and was an official adult. I feel like I am none of those things. It seems like I am so far from any of those things than I would have ever thought possible at this point and time in my life. The world is passing me by and I know less and less what to do every day. Where do I go from here? Is it okay to feel lost? Why can't I just get one thing to go right so I can see some of my dreams come true? What is the point of working so hard when all you ever get is a door slammed in your face and trick windows that aren't even made to be opened? I wish I was still as optimistic as I was when I was in 3rd grade. Back then, I watched ER and knew that I could absolutely be a heart surgeon, not a problem.

I know that I will probably never get the answers to these questions, but I hope that someday soon I will finally get it right. I know I just have to keep working and trying and eventually I will get there.If anyone has the answers or can offer some help, PLEASE let me know!

Thanks to everyone who has been there for me during this whole process, it really is amazing how much farther you can go with good people!

I'm Baaaccckk!

2010-01-10T10:01:00.000-08:00

Hello there!

I am back in California! Woo!!! I am ready to re-introduce myself to the Pacific Ocean, and don't worry, I have already eaten at In-N-Out! Now I just need some See's candy!

Just wanted to say a quick hello and I am working on the formatting of my blog before I do a real post again.

So good to be back home!

I Need Help..

2010-01-02T15:47:00.000-08:00

No, I don't mean mental help (well, I probs do but that's a different topic for a different day), but I need help with my blog. I am so not up on my blogging game here and I want to make my blog look a tad bit more like I know what I'm doin' here. If you can help me with formatting and basically just anything on here, please let me know, I would loooove the help!

I haven't been blogging much because my time here at WDW is coming to a close and I am having a really hard time dealing. It's been such an amazing experience and I have met so many wonderful people and done things I never thought I would get to do. I have grown and changed in a myriad of ways and feel like I can do anything, all I have to do is go for it. I had to say goodbye to a co-worker today and it made me want to cry, and I have been feeling a little blue today. I will start blogging way more often once I get home (because let's face it, I will be jobless and probs sitting around doing nothing :/ ).

Hope everyone had a wonderful NYE, I had a great time surrounded by friends and fireworks and balloons. Omg, I am going to miss it here...

The Fairy Tale in My Head

2009-12-14T17:49:00.000-08:00

There's just something so special and magical about walking into Disneyland. No matter how many times I've been there, it always just makes me so happy and brings out the little kid in me. I want to skip down Main Street and I still squeal when I see Mickey and friends out and about. Sleeping Beauty's castle is just about the prettiest sight I think I'll ever see.

I was bored tonight and started looking at pictures of Disneyland (are you surprised I'm not Disney-ed out yet? I don't think it's even possible for me! haha) and decided to show y'all where I want to get married if I ever had an unlimited budget and if I were actually getting married anytime soon..hmm..which isn't happening, but I digress..

Basically, if you have enough money, you can do anything you want and Disney will make it happen. Disney has magical capabilities most of us can only dream about! Yeah, I know, I'm a Disney nerd - deal with it!

The most beautiful place to get married would be in the courtyard in New Orleans Square. When you exit Pirates of the Caribbean ride, it's to the left. It's a gorgeous courtyard, and I love the French Quarter there. The estate jewelry store always has exquisite pieces and it never fails; every time I go into the store, I pick out the most expensive piece of jewelry. {It's a gift, what can I say?}

This is the courtyard if you are looking at it from

the archway entrance. How amazing would it be to walk down the stairs in a white dress and the railings all draped in hot pink bougainvillea with white lights intertwined. I can see it so perfectly in my head, I wish I could just put that picture up for everyone to see!

The fountain of the courtyard, which is simple but pretty and would look cool with birds of paradise surrounding it. Yeah, I'm all about weddings, can you tell? It would also be cool to have lights inside the fountain so the water would be a different color, like dark pink! Pink is going to be my main wedding color if you haven't figured that out by now.

This is the archway that I would want to exchange my vows under. It would feel so romantic to be just the two of us under that archway and have lights twinkling around the archway. We would obvi be getting married at night after the park is closed so it's just our party there of course and hence the need for twinkling lights!

I would also want to be a Club 33 member so that I could have my reception there because that would probably be the best wedding ever imaginable!

{If you don't know what Club 33 is, GOOGLE IT! Do it right now! I'll wait..}

Since this is all in my head, I'm just going to pretend that this is all quite possible and keep on dreaming about it!

I want to hear your version of your very own fairy tale, whatever it may be! I love a good story and a happy ending, so please share them with me!

And of course, I would take a million pictures here in front of the most beautiful castle all lit up at night. Isn't it just gorgeous? This is definitely what my dreams are made of!

I Love It

2009-12-13T12:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a good day at work. It really helped get me out of my funk and put me into a much better mood.

Working at Walt Disney World is not always fun, but then I have days like yesterday where I just love my job.

I had a guest tell me I was a very pretty girl (gawrsh!) and that I was very nice and helpful (which is a big deal because we get paid to be nice, so if someone comments on it, then you know you're going "above and beyond"). And then I had a guest who had the Disneyland Haunted Mansion Holiday Pin for 2009 and I commented how I love Disneyland because I'm from California (and let's face it, Disneyland is a 100 times better!) and the guest gave me the pin to keep and wished me a Merry Christmas. I was blown away! I'm so used to taking care of the guests, it's really nice when they appreciate you for a change.

{Sorry for the horrible picture - my camera is dunzo and all I have is my phone}

Unfortunately, I still don't think I will really be getting into the Christmas spirit this year, but this helped give me a little boost, and maybe I'll be a little bit nicer instead of being a scrooge.

Hope you all have a fabulous, heart-warming day!

Just One of Those Days...

2009-12-12T13:23:00.000-08:00

Warning

I'm in a foul, awful, mean, grumpy mood.

Now that I got that out of the way, I am venting and ranting and raging today and I am in no way fishing for compliments or for people to leave comments trying to cheer me up. If you want to leave a comment, then pretty please do, but I don't want people thinking they need to cheer me up because you don't and it probs won't help anyways.

So reasons 1, 2, and 3 why I am in a bad mood.

1. I got turned down for a student loan, so FIDM might not be in the near future like I so excitedly thought it was going to be. Awesome. Of course I don't make enough money and don't have perfect credit. That's why I can't afford school! I need school so I can get a real job and make real money. I'm already on the verge of signing up to donate my body to science to earn some extra money, what else do they want from me to prove that I need money?! It's not like I'm going to take the money and run away! I want to go to school, so I can earn money and pay back the loans! Every single time I try to go to a good school and do something with my life, I always get turned down for student loans because I don't make enough money. Well thanks Sherlock, I couldn't have figured that out on my own!

2. Obvi, #1 is the main reason I am in a foul mood. {And I keep typing fould instead of foul..stupid fingers!} The other reason is probably because of lack of sleep because I have been working at 5:30am to 1pm. This lovely shift entails that I have to get up at 4am and then I don't get home until at least 2:30pm and then I don't get to do anything before I need to go to bed, but I usually can't fall asleep fast anyways and I wake up constantly during the night. It makes me very cranky. And then, these are stock shifts so all I get to do all day is get beat up and banged up and pull loads of a few hundred pounds of shipment. Doesn't that sound like fun? Oh yeah, NOPE!!!

3. When you combine #1 and #2, everything is irritating to me. Lack of money is a huge one. I can't even afford food this week. The only reason I even have a PB&J to eat every day is because of my amazing roomie. Well, at least I will lose weight right? And I have been going to the gym...probably isn't a great idea when I don't eat very much all day, but I really am just so over this whole situation right now.

Add all of that together and you get how I feel inside:

So now, all I'm being is Polly Pessimist and only thinking of negative things. Like how when I can't get a hold of people it's definitely because they don't want to talk to me. And why would they? I'm a failure at life. I don't get why I have friends or why people like me sometimes. I'm boring, I never have funny things to say or can come up with fun things to do. I am not a nice person, I am not generous, I hardly ever put other people first. I'm usually always a Debbie Downer, mainly about myself and I know I get real annoying to the people around me who have to get stuck listening to me. I get mad and angry a lot. It's because I don't want to talk about my feelings. I feel like I stopped being a part of the world March 8th, 2006 and the world is just passing me by while I am just stuck in place. Sure, I may go through the motions but I don't feel like I am really there half the time. "I'm not cryin cuz I feel so sorry for you, I'm cryin' for me." (Toby Keith). I miss my dad. A lot. It's just not f*cking fair. I hate being helpless. I couldn't do anything for anyone.

{And f.y.i., when I am stressed, please don't tell me not to stress. It doesn't make me feel better and then I stress about trying to make myself not stress. Of course I'm stressed out. I'm about to be out of shelter and a job! And absolutely no money for a cushion! The next time I hear that god-awful phrase: "don't stress", I am going to scream. Promise.}

Ugh. Even I'm getting sick of listening to myself complain and talking about only myself. Yet, I can't seem to shake this mood.

Even the Christmas season, my absolute favorite time of the year, is just making it worse. I haven't been able to listen to enough Christmas music, I don't have money to buy people gifts, I don't get to see my family for Christmas yet again this year - 3rd year in a row, and I don't get to do any normal holiday season traditions. I can't even afford an eggnog latte, the best drink Starbucks ever invented. I no longer have anyone to drink eggnog with and complain to each other about how awful it is, even though we drink the whole carton anyways when we can't find our favorite brand. I still look for the same green tie and shirt I bought for him all those years ago that were ruined. Even though I can't give it to him anymore, I still look, probably because I'm insane.

This is just a lousy day.

To Do List of Sorts.

2009-12-04T14:58:00.000-08:00

That's what I think it would look like if I charted my weight loss/gains over the past few years. I know I have lost a miniscule amount of weight in the past 3 months, but I haven't been feeling so great lately. It's hard being an emotional eater! I get excited, let's go eat! I get sad or mad or stressed, then I just want to eat to fill that pain or anger or void or whatever I am feeling that day. Why does eating make you feel better? I can't seem to figure it out, if you know, PLEASE TELL ME! I need to break the cycle!

Today, I broke down and went to McDonalds. And let me tell you, drowning my sorrows with a Big Mac was yummy! I did sort of regret that decision afterwards, but it totally hit the spot, so oh well, what are ya gonna do? I do wish I could come home after being gone for 5 months and be like "oh yah, look at me, I got real skin - I probs should eat a sandwich, shouldn't I?". But I'm guessing with only a month to go, that ain't gonna happen here..unless I get the stomach flu, or anorexic. I would like to go home about 10 pounds lighter than when I came to Florida, so only about 8 more pounds to go! Ouch..but in 4 weeks, that's only 2 pounds per week...super do-able! Right??

Well, this was a random post. Just trying to be more consistent and get back into a bloggy routine. I love me a routine! I think at this point of the night, I need to go watch The Nutcracker, while doing some sit-ups and pushups and then crash about 7:30pm. So...I've got an hour..eek! Bye y'all! Sweet dreams!

Not Quite a Week Late.

2009-12-02T13:27:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know. I'm late. Thanksgiving was last week but I'm still going to do an I'm thankful for list now. Mainly because on Thanksgiving I was feelin' bummed and not so thankful. Plus I've been a busy little beaver (wow, did I really just say that?) and there are a lot of stressful things going on in my life so I really had to sit down and think about what I am thankful for.

So here goes, "I'm thankful for":

My mom and my sissy, who I didn't get to see for Thanksgiving (and most likely Christmas) but I love them and they have done so much for me and I truly appreciate them.
My dog (Scotch, no not after the drink!): apparently he had a seizure a week and a half ago, and I was kind of -okay, a lot!- distraught, but he's doing better and I'm thankful for that and the fact that I was able to save him from the pound in the first place and give him a better life.
My friends because they are amazing! They are always there for me and have gotten me through some rough times in my life. I'm also thankful for meeting new friends during my time in Florida, and my new friends are pretty awesome too! It's always fun to meet new people, and now, I have places to stay all over the country! Yes! Who's down for a road trip?
I have a roof over my head until January 8th. After that I'm not too sure where I am going because I technically won't have a home..but until then, I have shelter! And sad to say, that's more than some people have.
I am getting a paycheck until January 8th. I'm a little worried about that fact, but what's meant to be will be and I'm sure I will figure it out. I always do. Again, it's a lot more than some people have.
My shoes. Yep, they always make me completely happy and I never fight with them :). Also thankful for the fact that Christian Louboutin will be making 8 inch heels in the future. I definitely have to own a pair!
Working for Walt Disney World during the holidays. It may not be fun to work on the actual holiday, but it's really sweet when people thank you for working so that they can have a nice vacation with their family. And seeing the kids faces light up is definitely worth it. Even better: walking into a park all decorated and having my face light up! I'm such a little kid with anything Disney that I still get excited to see my favorite characters and yep, I still cry everytime at "Dream Along with Mickey".
My red fleece sweatpants that were only $10 at Gap outlet. I practically live in them now. No, it's not cold here in Floriday, just out apartment. Our a/c is broken so when we turn it on it goes down to about 56 degree, which makes it feel a little more like winter. I kinda like it!
I'm also thankful for the fact that I get to attend FIDM come April. I am really excited about this new adventure in my life. Hopefully one day I will become an architect but until then, a career in the fashion industry ain't too shabby.
I would be even more thankful for these babies:

{Talk about the perfect holiday shoe! Black, so they go with everything, but they have sparkle! These don't have sequins, but I'm crazy about sequins and sparkle. Show me some sequins and I'm all yours. I completely and utterly DIE for sequins, its a little ridic how much I love sequins. Could I say sequins anymore? SEQUINS, SEQUINS, SEQUINS. Okay, I'm done.}

The holidays are a little hard for me ever since my dad passed away. Holidays were always so much fun at my house and it definitely meant family time. I have so many good memories of the holidays from when I was growing up. Even when I am surrounded by family and friends, I still feel really lonely during the holidays because half of my heart is missing. Christmas is my favorite season though, so seeing decorations, listening to the music and watching the movies still puts a smile on my face. And I'm definitely not opposed to Christmas yummies either. I don't know how I am going to survive this holiday season without See's candy (all my Californians will understand!).

I hope that you are all able to spend lots of quality time with your families and friends and everyone else that you don't see enough of during the rest of the year. Have a wonderful holiday season and be safe out there!

*Does the word sequins look funny to anyone else at this point or is it just me? hmm..*

Writer's Block

2009-11-12T10:30:00.000-08:00

To any of my readers still left..Hi! I haven't abandoned you, I promise! I have been busy at work and there is a lot going on in my head. I don't know how to sort it out and how to express it or even if I should put it out there so publicly. I am hopeful that in a little while I'll have my head on straight again, or at least have some answers.

On a sidenote..Christmas season is here! Well, at least in the world of Disney.

Isn't this gorge? LOVE it!!

I can't wait for Christmas music to start playing on the radio so I can blast it and sing along! I love Christmas season, it's my absolute favorite time of year. I am hoping that being in a place that so thoroughly celebrates the holidays is going to be a great boost for my mood and help get me to the place I want to be, at least mentally.

To those of you still out there reading this, I really appreciate you hanging in there with me. This has been such a great release for me and hopefully I can start carving out more time to blog more regularly. I need it!

Hope everyone out there has a fabulous day!

ABC easy as 123

2009-10-18T11:22:00.000-07:00

Today is my lazy Sunday so I didn't have energy to come up with an original post. I got this from a great blog, Alis Grave Nil, that I read religiously. This was fun to do and I hope you guys enjoy reading it!

A – Advocate For: hm, this is a toughy..I've never really thought about what I am an advocate for, but at this point in my life, I'm going to say I'm a big advocate for making yourself happy.

B – Best Feature: Probably my legs, they are the only things that I don't want to make serious changes to, they are pretty awesome, not gonna lie.

C – Could do without: STRESS!!!!!!!

D – Dreams & Desires: Graduating from FIDM, getting an awesome job that I adore, being successful and having a boatload of money, having a family, being happy, being an architect

E – Essential items: carmex, phone, computer, shoes

F – Favourite pastime: reading (books and mags), shopping, exercising(kind of), hanging with my friends :)

H – Have never tried: just letting go and letting God take care of it - I think I may need to try it

I – If I Had a Million Dollars: Buy my mom a house, buy myself a house, pay off school and debts, and then give my sis some money, and then have a small shopping spree!

J – Junkie For: Shoes and chocolate!!!

K – Kindred Spirit: my uppy, I miss him!!!!!

L – Little Known Fact: my thumbs are double jointed

M – Memorable Moment: Graduating from college - I made it!

N – Never Again Will I: get so crazy.

O – Occasional Indulgence: Manicure/pedicures and getting my hair done - absolutely love both of those and they definitely don't happen enough!

P – Profession: student and working for Disney and hopefully in about a year and a half - a stylist!

Q – Quote: Love quotes - saw one today "Not every day is good, but there's something good in every day". When life is stressing me out, I just need to breathe and remember that quote and find the good!

R – Reason to Smile: my family and friends and my doggy! :)

S – Sorry About: too many things to list here, but a lot that I wish had never ever happened in the past few years....

T – Things That Are Worrying You Right Now: Money, like always! Other than that, I'm trying to cut down on stress and there is nothing I can really do about other things, so I'm just wiping them from my brain as best as possible.

U – Uninterested In: anything that doesn't work for me - yup, I'm into being selfish these days.

V – Very Scared Of: heights, the dark and pretty much anything scary - I'm a wuss and proud of it! and oh yeah - don't ever touch my neck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

W – Worst Habits: Stressing out too much, being too negative, throwing clothes all over my room...prob quite a few more.

X – X Marks My Ideal Vacation Spot: Europe, Hawaii, NYC, San Diego, pretty much anywhere with a beach, history or good shopping! :)

Y – Yummiest Desert: Pie is amazing! Hersheys bar with almonds

Z – Zodiac Sign: Gemini, and yes it fits me. I totally have two different personalities - have you met me? Then I'm sure you're aware of the mood swings :)

J'adore

2009-10-10T16:24:00.000-07:00

I love everything about this picture - Victoria Beckham, the dress, her attitude...aaammmazing!

Pop goes the.....knee?!

2009-10-06T22:50:00.000-07:00

When I bend down, it's like snap, crackle and pop over here. I swear, I can't bend down, squat or bend over without something on my body popping or cracking, mainly my knees and hips. It's painful, not to mention embarassing! What does this have to do with anything you ask?

Exercise!!!!

I decided to make this post about exercise, weight loss, and all the baggage that comes with that long journey. The main reason I don't like to exercise, especially running, is because it kills my joints and not in that good, "oh I just worked up a sweat" soreness that you get the next day. I like to exercise because it makes me feel energized, clears my mind, washes away the stress, and not to mention, helps me to lose weight! I really do like that "everything hurts because I'm sore" feeling that you get after a really good workout. It makes me feel all those muscles that keep my body going and makes me feel strong. But the pain makes it hard to stick with any form of exercise, especially with the running that I recently took up again. *On that side note, I'm up to 2.3 miles! woo!* After that run, my back, knees and hips were really stiff, even with stretching before and after, but it gave me great energy and I loved how revitalized I felt. Too bad my joints could not have disagreed more!

I have been really sticking to working out at least 3 or 4 times a week, mainly just the running, while I have been in Florida, and it has helped me to combat the erratic schedule and the stress. I don't have my scale here with me so I'm not sure if I've lost any poundage yet, but my clothes are fitting slightly better...although that could be due to the fact that I live on cup-o-noodles now. Just sayin.

Which brings me to my next point - weight loss. Losing weight is one of the hardest and most trying challenges in life, and I swear that my body fights for every extra pound it can have like there is no tomorrow. I have such a hard time losing weight, it's frustrating beyond belief and usually makes me run for the nearest piece of chocolate I can find. Such a vicious cycle! I try to lose weight, can't and head for chocolate, which makes me need to lose even more weight...ugh!

I have had a rough few years and while it would be nice to put the blame for me being overweight on those hard times, it was me and me alone who was putting all that bad food into my mouth and sitting on my behind, instead of workin' it out like I should have been. It was easy to comfort myself with food instead of just dealing with everything that was going on at the time, and it became a security blanket for me to be overweight. I mean, let's be honest, who wouldn't want to eat yummy food when you're feeling blue or stressed? I'm always first in line for the buffet on that one! I always try to bury how I feel by being either super busy and not giving myself time to think or I sit on the couch and eat and don't move for days until I am too zoned out to think anymore. It's mainly the latter..yup, I'm a big fat couch potato..for days.

I've always been very insecure with myself and have low self-esteem. I am a perfectionist, so it's hard for me to accept that I may not be the best and I need that stamp of approval that I really am okay and what I'm doing is good enough. Being overweight lets me hide. I can pretend that being the best isn't important and I can use it as the reasons why I'm not the best or why people don't like me. In my head it all makes sense, but when you extract it from my brain, it's a crazy mess going on. I have a hard time liking and accepting myself and who I am. I don't even really know who I am anymore and I'm not entirely sure where the person I used to be went. She disappeared a few years ago and hasn't been heard from in awhile. I'm hoping to find her again.

*I wish I felt that way about myself - well the last line. I wish I had an "I'm amazing and I don't care what you think" kind of attitude - hopefully, one day, I will get there*

And with that, I've finally decided to take control and instead of taking care of everything and everyone else ahead of me, I'm going to take care of me and make myself happy. I don't know exactly what that means or what it is going to take to get there, or even if I will ever like what I see in the mirror. I don't know if I can ever measure up to the high standards I have for myself, and I hope that on this journey to making me happy and finding out who I am, I can accept my failures as well as my successes. Everything that has happened in my life has made me who I am, good or bad, and I can never go back and change it. I just need to learn from it and keep on moving forward. Losing weight is the one thing that I can take control of and do for myself. By exercising and eating right, it's going to make me feel better and think better and help me to manage the stress that can drive me crazy. If you know me, you know my stress level and how crazy it makes me. I have been known to break out in hives and develop an eye twitch due to stress. Currently, I'm dealing with the eye twitch which really, really needs to go away, NOW!

I am done hiding and am determined to find out who I really am. I have so much going on in my life that is positive, I want to face all of these new adventures as the best me that I can be.

I love having this blog to be able to set my goals down, so that I feel accountable to not only myself, but to the people that read this and I don't want to let anyone down.

This was a long ramble and if you're still reading, congrats and welcome to my brain! "Please stand clear of the doors. Por favor manténganse alejado de las puertas."
{Ten bonus points to you if you know what that's from!}

So, I hope you all do something for yourselves today that makes you happy and you take control of something, no matter how small, that is just for you and no one else. I know that no amount of approval from others will make me love myself, I am the only one who can do it.

I can do it.

Thank you!

2009-09-30T20:06:00.000-07:00

Thank you everyone for the comment love! It means a lot to me that you take time to read my little blog, and that you are sharing in my wonderful news is even better!

I am so excited for my new adventure, and even a little nervous to get so far out of my comfort zone, but I love having the support group from you guys!

Hope you all are having a fabulous day, I know I am!

p.s. sorry I'm so slow at responding, my schedule is super erratic and I haven't adjusted yet...

Since I can't write you all a handwritten Thank you card (I love writing Thank You cards!), here is one you can pretend I sent you :)

Yay Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-25T08:57:00.000-07:00

I got into FIDM!! Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandise for those who don't know. I am so beyond excited, I can't wait! I'm going to the campus in L.A. and will start at the beginning of April!!!

*Yep, that's my future school!!*

Since I already graduated in May with a Bachelor's degree, I am doing a year-long professional program in Visual Communications. I really, really want to be a stylist aka Rachel Zoe. LOVE HER!!

Short and sweet post because I am just too excited about my new adventure, plus I am going to be close to two of my besties that live in L.A., Heather and Annemarie and I can't wait to be near them again!!

Holllllaaa!

2009-09-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

Shut the front door!! On Saturday, I ran 2 miles!! Continuously - no walking, no grasping the treadmill for support, but just a steady rhythm for 27 minutes! I don't think that I have ever run 2 miles, and I'm pumped that I can do it now, especially since I just started running again in July. For me, this kind of progress is AMAZING!

[Wish I looked like that while running instead of a hot mess ;)]

However, on a related note..why in the world can I not lose weight? So frustrating! I have been going to the gym at least 3-4 times a week, and while I am not eating great, I am eating less than usual, and between working 5 days a week where I stand on my feet for at least 6 hours a day and working out, you'd think there would be some progress..but NOPE! Big fat fail on me. Unfortunately I can't eat that great because I can't afford fresh food often, cup-o-noodles is my main staple!

[What I feel like the scale/my body is saying to me these past 5 months I've been trying to lose weight!]

So to all of you, HELP! Please! I need help to lose weight! What else can I do?
Anyways, I'm keeping this short and sweet, but definitely would LOVE comments on this one!!!!!!

Pictures As Promised

2009-09-15T10:21:00.001-07:00

Here is my costume for working at the Mercantile at the Wilderness Lodge Resort...please, don't be jealous. I know its HOT!

I Was Right...

2009-09-10T17:38:00.000-07:00

*these would have been perfect with my outfit last night!*

I totally didn't bring enough shoes with me, I didn't have a pair of heels to wear last night that went with my outfit. Mayjuh bummed about that one last night, and to all the people who told me I wouldn't need my shoes, you were WRONG! But it's okay, I still love you, I guess. Nah, I kid! I really do love you guys, I know you were just trying to help, but hello? I had no good shoes to wear last night! :(

Yes, this is a random post, but I just had to share because basically everyone told me I wouldn't need all of my shoes....yeah, right!!!

Walt Disney World!!!!

2009-09-10T16:53:00.000-07:00

Natasha and I finally made it to Florida!! We arrived on August 23rd, with a whole lotta luggage drama! Well, it was mainly all me, but what do they expect? I had to pack 5 months into 3 suitcases!! First, I weighed my suitcases at home and they were all under, but apparently my scale was off because my big black suitcase was 15 lbs over! Woops!! So Tasha, her mom and I start taking things out and shoving them everywhere! I had my boots in Tasha's purse, all my underwear in a bag in my pillowcase and dvds galore in my purse, plus a few other things and we finally got it under the weight limit. So cut to me trying to board the plane and the flight attendant tells me my carry on isn't gonna fit anywhere. Slight panic attack because to check a 3rd bag would have been $125 and yeah, that ain't happening! So major relief when she said it was going to be free if we gate check it! YES!! So I ended up using my pillowcase as a carry on bag, only me of course!

*Side note to those of you who travel, we were on Delta airlines, in case you don't want to pay for an extra bag, gate check it, it's free!*

We finally arrived after flying all day, with a stop in Atlanta, and we were both exhausted and just basically dropped once we got to the hotel room.

So, this is why my blogging has been majorly slacking lately, but I promise to be a lot more regular again with updates and pictures!! I am currently working at the Wilderness Lodge in the Mercantile store. My costume is pretty crazy, I have to wear a white button up shirt but its very pioneering-esque, with a calf length dark green polyester skirt that has a native american blanket on the bottom half, with black tights and black loafers. Jealous yet? I will definitely post a pic of that soon! I was kind of hoping to get away from retail, or at the very least be in a park, but oh well, hopefully I will get deployed and be able to work at a variety of locations, so it shouldn't be too bad.

I have had so much fun playing in the parks, and I do have to say, Disneyland does everything better! haha, can't top the original! But the rest of the parks are pretty awesome, and there is soooo much more to do here, I honestly don't know if 5 months will be long enough to see and do everything!

If you have been to Walt Disney World before, tell me some of your favorite things to do, I want to make sure I do all of the best things!

It Happened One Night

2009-08-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

Last night, I had a full fledged panic attack about 1:30am. It was awesome...oh wait, no, it wasn't! I'm already in freak-out mode trying to pack and get everything ready for Florida. I still have to take stuff to storage, finish getting my car refinanced, deliver my car to my sister this weekend, apply to FIDM (and get accepted, fingers crossed) and then of course, PACK! Lots to do, and not enough time! Plus, being without a car all next week is going to make things even more difficult and stressful.

Then around 1am, I received a text message from N, saying he just got home from the hospital. WHAT?! Okay, why? Apparently, he dislocated his knee again, really bad this time, and possibly might need surgery because he might have torn a crucial ligament. After waking up, and re-reading this text a few more times, I called him to find out what happened. He was playing basketball and the next thing he knew he was on the ground in pain and couldn't even get back up, so off to the emergency room and a few hours later, emerged with a full leg brace. Now, he's out of commission for a good week, and has to meet with an orthopedic surgeon. Cue the panic attack.
Rad.

Normally, I'm not quite so jumpy about these things, but there is just so much going on already, and then realizing I won't be around if anything does happen, just really hit home last night. I had already started to clean up/organize for packing last night, and had begun to feel overwhelmed with this task, so I did what I do best, I made a couple of lists. Then N's injury happened, and I crumbled.

So, that was my exciting night, and I'm beyond exhausted. Getting ready for Florida is not as easy as I thought it was going to be, and it definitely ain't magical!
At least I only have 2 more days of work, and that's about all that's getting me through this week. Only 11 more days until I leave...wish me luck I can make it!

Cute Outfit!

2009-08-03T15:17:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share a cute outfit with you all! I have a new post coming up, just have to find a scanner first! Hope this helps get your week off with a smile!

Fashion Idol

2009-07-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

I totally let you guys down this weekend! I was super busy and didn't have a spare second of alone time to sit down and write. I have a feeling that this week is gong to consist of a few late nights due to stress, so I will probably have oodles of time to write and finally be able to fill you in on the details of my "personal" life.

So, for a fun little post, I decided to show you my favorite fashion icon. Most of you all know her as Posh Spice, but I prefer to call her Victoria Beckham {mainly because saying her last name makes me think of her husband and he's yummy! :) }. I love that she really doesn't care what other people think and she is always dressed to the nines, she is truly my inspiration, and some day soon, I want to dress like she does! People like to complain about how she doesn't smile and always looks harsh, but it's because she is self-concious about her smile, and I think it's great that she doesn't give in to others just to make them happy even if it meant making her uncomfortable. She is her own person and that's sometimes hard to find in this world! I adore her fashion sense, she sticks to what works for her and doesn't just follow trends. She does a lot of classic styles, but updates them in different colors and textures. Plus, she always wears a 5 inch + heel and that is my kind of woman! She always has amazing shoes on, and that's really why she is my number 1!
Here are a few of my fave outfits of hers:

*so this is just her hair, but I definitely copied her hair style when I cut my hair short a few years ago..it definitely worked better on her!*

*This dress is "major"! It's a Marc Jacobs and the hearts are so adorable and she pulls it off!*

*Even casual, she still rocks it, and I especially love a wide leg pant!*

*I can only pray I look half this cute after having kids!*

*She even looks amazing going to the airport!*

*She loves the pencil skirt silhouette and who can blame her? It always looks amazing and is super flattering, it's my fave too!*

*How cute are her and her husband on date night. Here is an example of how she takes the classic LBD, updates the silhouette and makes it her own with tights and bright red shoes, love the shoes!*

I hope you guys enjoy the few pictures I posted, I could post pictures of her outfits and shoes all day long!
Let me know who your fashion icons are and send me some pictures of your fave styles, looks, shoes, whatever! I love looking at any picture related to fashion!

Coming Soon!

2009-07-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone!

Sorry I took a little break off from new posts, been busy and haven't had the internet at home for a few days. A few of the blogs I read are done by amazing girls who aren't afraid to get personal, and I love it. So I think I'm going to get brave and do the same. So sit tight, and let me write out a new post about what's been going on in my life, hopefully I can have it up by Saturday. (There's been a lot going on!)

Thank you to everyone who reads this blog, please keep reading and leaving me comments, I love reading them!

xo Vanessa xo

The A.L. Won!!

2009-07-15T10:14:00.000-07:00

The A.L. won the All-Star Game!!! I am a huge baseball fanatic - okay, well not fanatic, but pretty darn close! I love baseball, it's my favorite sport! My favorite team in the whole entire world is the Angels, who happen to reside in the best division, the American League!

*I have always loved the Anaheim Angels, but a few years back, the MLB changed the name to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, which is quite a mouthful! The Angels started out as the Los Angeles Angels, which makes perfect sense, and to older generations, like my dad (who I took after in becoming a fan!), this is how they should be known. I have only known them as the Anaheim Angels, so that's how I still think of them, besides, doesn't L.A. have enough sports teams?! I think everyone can agree the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim is ridiculous for the team name, just pick one city!*

The A.L. has had the longest un-beaten streak in the All-Star history, 13 years, with only 1 tie in 2002. And now, since that tie, whoever wins the All-Star game gets homefield advantage in the World Series. The Angels had two players in the game this year, Chone Figgins (3rd baseman and alternate since Torii Hunter is on the DL list and Evan Longoria was hurt right before the game) and Brian Fuentes (pitcher). Neither one actually got to play, but that's okay! My other favorite All-Star event is the home run derby, in which Vladimir Guerrero (AKA Bad Vlad) usually plays and wins, but he was on the disabled list as well (how sad!) My all-time favorite Angels player was Bengie Molina, who unfortunately was traded a few years back and has now ended up on the Giants (boo Giants!). But I still love him and am a huge fan of his! He and his brother, Jose Molina, were both catchers for the Angels at one time, but now they have both been traded.

That's my update for the day, one which I am beyond excited about! I just wanted to let everyone know that the best league won and to also let you know more about me, my favorite team, and what's going on with them!
What are your favorite teams and players?

2009-07-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

So I've been making lists and checking them twice (more like 200 times!) to try and get a jump start on being organized for Florida.

*For those of you who don't know, I am going to DisneyWorld in Orlando,FL for 5 months for an internship with their college program! Its for college students and I get to work in the park and once I complete this program, I can go on to do their professional internship program, which is when I would do a job related to my field of study in school. I am beyond excited, I am a Disney fanatic!!!!!*

While making these lists, I know that I probably won't be able to take everything I want to take or feel that I will need and this is causing me some minor stress. The thing I am most stressed out about and to be honest, my biggest fear is that I will not be able to take all of my shoes and that while I am gone, my poor shoes will rot away in storage. I know, I'm beyond ridiculous when it comes to shoes, but I am a true shoe-a-holic. The best feeling in the world is buying a brand new pair of shoes, it's just so thrilling! And no matter, shoes always fit! That's their best quality!

I am already the worst packer in the world, when going away for a simple weekend, you'd swear I was going to be gone for two weeks because I still insist on taking my biggest suitcase and stuffing it full, I always run into weight problems at the airport. Have you seen some of my purses? They are massive themselves and they are usually always full too! My favorite purse is my big yellow purse that my friends have nicknamed "the suitcase". I am a packrat I guess you would say, but I feel that I always need to be prepared for everything. I love being able to pull out a band-aid, a wet wipe, a hair tie, a nail file, or some other random thing someone needs from my purse. I even carry magazines and books too, in case I'm somewhere and I'm bored! I also carry post it notes and index cards so I can make lists and notes while I'm out and about! I don't even know how I am going to survive making it to Florida for 5 months with only 3 suitcases, its going to be quite a challenge for me. Honestly, I think one suitcase will be just full of shoes, I'd rather have my shoes than a big selection of clothes!

I know that I will still forget a ton of stuff, despit my lists, because I can be a total airhead and walk out with things that I have been thinking about for months and are sitting right in front of me as I'm walking out of the door. But I am also very excited because this is going to be a completely new adventure for me and if I forget a few things, that'll just add to the fun and force me to go shopping in Florida (oh darn!).

I hope this all makes sense, I just started rambling! Do you guys have any tips for packing for a long trip? I desperately could use them!

Happy Saturday!

2009-07-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

Hello you!
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but I've been a tad bit on the busy side for once. This week was an adventure, with me having to change my car battery and then trying to finish packing up my apartment and then trying to get ready to pack for Florida!
I've started to get back on track with working out, so my post is going to be about my new found joy of running. Okay, joy is pushing it, but it has helped me stay sane this week!
I recently started running down the street, which is about a mile, and even though I go super slow, I make sure that I don't let myself stop. It's hard but it's so good for my body and my mind. I have stopped taking my iPod because it really lets me think and clear my head and seems to make my run go by that much faster. It's also been helping me to sleep better (Hallelujah!!) and it definitely is a great stress reliever! (Have you met me? I'm Queen Stress over here!). I have had a lot going on in my life lately, more to come in later posts about that!, and running has really allowed me the quiet time I need to figure out what I am supposed to be doing and who I am supposed to be at this juncture of my life. The whole figure out your life by 22 when you graduate from college thing is not easy, and I feel that it's really unfair! Who knows exactly what they want to do for the rest of their lives at 22?! I know a few things that I want to do, but I still have no idea how to get there!
So I hope my little post and sidetracking comments inspire you to get out there and do some exercise for your body and mind today! We all only get one body, take care of it!
Anyways, just wanted to give you all a quick hello and update as to what I am doing this weekend. Any fun plans for you out there? If not, lace up your shoes and go outside!

Tell Me a Secret....

2009-07-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

So, my friend Natasha (hi there!) clued me into this blog called PostSecret. I had heard about it before, but I never knew there was a website for it as well! PostSecret is a collection of postcards where people write their deep secrets they are afraid to tell anyone and send them in. They have been made into books and the man that started it, Frank, also does PostSecret events. Every Sunday, they post new secrets on the website, and there are funny secrets, sad ones, weird ones and ones that make you think: "that's my secret too!" I think this is a great project because it can make you feel connected to others out there and realize we all face the same problems at one time or another. And a lot of the time, people will write in about when their loved ones read their secret and it helped them move forward in their lives and that's always a beautiful thing. Yesterday was National Tell the Truth Day, so I wish I had had time to blog this yesterday, but better late than never! I hope you all check out PostSecret or at least share some of your secrets with me!
I promise I won't tell.
Here's the link: www.postsecret.blogspot.com

*I thought this image was fitting~interesting and relevant to the topic!*

Happy 4th of July!

2009-07-04T15:47:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone has a fun, safe, and Happy 4th of July! Hope you all take some time out of your day to thank those who fight for our freedom and give a little salute to the flag.

A Slice of Wisdom

2009-07-04T15:42:00.000-07:00

I was reading the Costco Connection magazine today and stumbled across this word of wisdom and thought I would share it with you all! This is great to remember when life is getting us down and we need something to pick us up and keep us going. It was written by Wally Amos (yes, he created Uncle Amos' cookies).

W-Whatever you believe creates your reality. Believe that life is a positive experience and it will be.
A-Attitude is the magic word. Your greatest asset is your attitude. Be positive regardless.
T-Together everyone achieves more. There are no limits to what we can accomplish together. I am more than I am but less than we are.
E-Enthusiasm is the wellspring of life. There is no limit to what can be accomplished with enough enthusiasm.
R-Respect yourself, as well as others. When you begin to respect yourself, your whole world changes.
M-Make commitments, not excuses. There is overwhelming power in the words “Yes I will!”
E-Everyday can be a fun day. Fun is the lubricant that keeps life moving forward. Laugh a lot.
L-Love is the answer. Whatever the question, Love is the answer. It’s the greatest force in the Universe.
O-One day at a time. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. All of life happens in increments on one.
N-Never give up or become a victim. You are guaranteed to lose if you give up. Winston Churchill was right, “Never, never, never give up.” It works if you work it.

A Few of My Favorite Things!

2009-07-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

So, of course, my first real post is going to be about shoes! I'm going to make this simple and just post a few looks that I'm loving right now, whether they are in season or not, because let's face it, you can rock a look you love at any time! <3>

I'm really loving thigh-high boots with skinny jeans for a casual vibe or to modernize office wear.

For me, you can never have a heel too high, which is why I love the platform stilettos that have been everywhere lately! A few of my favorite examples:

These are great and a fantastic color!

These are a great take on the classic pump and go with anything while giving you that extra height that us shorties love!

And my last, but not least, favorite, especially during this time of year: WEDGES!

If you know me, you know I love architecture, and these are a great way to incorporate some architecture into your daily style!

These wedges are really fun and they have a take on the gladiator sandal with a great pop of color for summer time fun!

I die for these shoes! They are such a work of art - I would pair this with a great LBD for the perfect cocktail party look!

What are some of your favorite shoes? Send me some pics of your fave styles!

Welcome!

2009-05-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I am starting a blog so that you are all able to keep up with me and my life when i leave for Florida and just because you love me! :)
I'm very new to this so it will probably be boring for awhile until I get into the swing of things!